We’ve heard it so many times we’ve grown tired of it, yet somehow we still keep coming back to it as if it were some sort of miracle cure-all. FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF! Ok course set, engines full throttle, now just how the fuck do we do that? What’s the technique? How do we get from here to there?
In the back of our minds a voice echoes “ Go ahead, numbnuts, try once again. The first 999 times you tried weren’t enough to convince you you can’t do it. Don’t worry, you’ll come around. Keep pushing, maybe now you will finally do it”. But still some part of ourselves refuses to capitulate. You have all your hopes pinned on this falling in love with yourself thing. If you manage to pull it off then all your troubles are finally over. No more pain, no more suffering, no more waking up to a lonely bed at 06:00 in the morning.
There is no magic trick (to falling in love with yourself)
Now if you could only figure it out. How the fuck does one fall in love with oneself? Thing is, you got it right in the first place. You don’t. Actually, you cannot clearly define once and for all what falling in love with yourself looks like. It’s an unique experience for everybody. But there is a thing to it. When you will, you will know you’re in love with yourself, beyond any shadow of a doubt.
Right now, you are using this falling in love with yourself as a currency, a bargaining chip to trick life into giving you what you want, because you don’t feel you right now are and possess anything and everything you want. Little do you suspect the joke’s actually on you. Life’s simple for you:
If A then B, cause and effect. If I love myself, I will have everything I want. If I finally have everything I want, I can finally rest in peace and be happy. So if I love myself, I will be happy and at peace. Now how do I fall in love with myself, where can I get a good self-love course?
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It’s called TODAY! It’s called LIFE! Paradoxically you have nothing to do, but everything to be. Falling in love with yourself is NOT AN ACTION. You don’t do anything to achieve that. You are in love with yourself or you’re not. It’s rather a vantage point. Do you look at yourself through the eyes of love? Then you are in love with yourself.
It’s an Intention followed through, a fierce intention to hold yourself in the highest esteem and regard no matter what others or evene you say, and then following through with courage, passion, clarity, but also peace on that intention of loving yourself. It starts as a decision to love yourself, and it continues as a “Just IS”. You don’t do anything, you don’t try anything, you just choose the vantage point of love when assessing your life.
It is a beingness, not a doingness
This is not a doingness, it is a beingness. You love yourself when you are loving towards yourself. You do not need a definition to know “Is this loving myself, cause it doesn’t really fit my definition of it”? If you’re asking yourself that, you’re not loving yourself, you’re too busy focusing on the question rather than on the realization that yes, you indeed are loving.
Being in love with yourself is like a stream of consciousness, uninterrupted and always aware that there is a you who is loving, there is a you who is being loved and that the you loving and the you being loved are not two separate beings, but one and the same. Being in love with yourself escapes any definition, but if I were to try one, knowing full well it will be flawed I would say that
“Being in love with yourself is a flow of awareness of you loving you”.
Love is what you are!
Dear one, you live under the assumption that you are not now, at this very moment loving yourself, because what you feel does not meet your definition of what loving yourself should feel like. I want you to give yourself permission to renounce the definition of what love should feel like and open up to the possibility that love feels like a myriad of things, and right now, at this very moment, it feels like whatever you are feeling.
Truth I say onto you, it is impossible not to love yourself because love is the very thing you are made of in your entirety. You can no sooner stop loving yourself than you can stop being yourself. But you can be unaware of your love just as you can be unaware of your nature. It’s not that you don’t love yourself. You do! It’s that you fail to realize just how much you love yourself. If you would, you would at this moment be shedding tears of joy.
Trust me, you fell in love with yourself since before you were born. You just have to realize just how in love with yourself you really are.
I love you dear one, may you be blessed and may you in turn bless others. I live you with my usual message: Smile from your Heart, and I’m leaving you the subscription link to the Love in Life newsletter down below should you wish to remain connected to the flow here on the site.